If you’re one of the ex-convicts, OG’s or anyone that has come out of a bad situation and who is genuinely interested in how to move on with their life after incarceration, then you need to avoid these 3 mistakes at all cost. How do I know this? This is the same thing I tell my homeboy’s or other people when they want to get out of any type of funk and ask the same questions. How Do You Do It?
Mistake #1: Thinking Your Still Inside Mentality
Here’s the big thing ex-convicts must understand about this mistake: Nobody cares you did that time, nobody cares except the people that are really close to you or your friends that were inside with you with different sentences… life went on without you, your family and kids made it work without you for all those years don’t expect things to be hunky-dory.
Because sure they put money on your books, sure they answered your collect calls, but they went through hell but they didn’t tell you.
You need to avoid this mistake because thinking things will be like it was when you were out your in for a lot of stress, anxiety and at times feel unaccepted.
Ex-convicts need to understand avoiding this mistake is key because if you don’t it leads you down a deep road of anger and put you in a place emotionally you don’t want to be, ultimately you could be telling yourself they don’t want me I am going to hang out and basically go back down that same path of criminal activity, drugs, alcohol, looking for a new partner…whatever it is. Let time takes its course if you stay the course and don’t compromise rewards come with patience.
So instead of making this mistake, you should use the time to get back into people’s lives slowly. Show them through your behavior and not by just telling them stay quiet and show with actions. Use the time to your advantage like you did for so many years
Mistake #2: Thinking The World Owes You For Lost Time
The big idea for you with this is that you can start the blame game why the rat did what they did. If wasn’t for this, I would have never got caught. Accept responsibility for not just you but for those around you that care.
This is a huge one, because the people that you care about are always wondering if you will become that person you was before you went in.
ITS ALWAYS IN THE BACK OF THEIR HEAD, and you have to change that perception by showing them.
And that means if you make this mistake you will be holding grudges in turn shows that you haven’t learned your lesson and that carrying that chip on your shoulder will not get you anywhere, and it sure won’t make your life easier when your trying to make it happen.
Steering clear of this will help you because if you don’t any notion of rekindling relationships will be put on the back burner. It will be hard but understand your loved ones did time also and went through things you couldn’t dream of but they won’t tell you. So many divorces and break ups happen over this one thing. Ask yourself is it worth it to you? What can you do to make it better. You already did the time, but the real work happens when you have a mix of emotions that you want everything now.
Next you need to have timed conversations about what you went through also, but don’t force the topic. Show empathy about others and understanding. Yes there is a bigger picture, how has it affected your kids, their emotional well being. Be there for them. Your lucky enough for this chance and think about all the people you know that would give anything to have the chance you have reading this.
Mistake #3: Thinking Everything Is Going To Be Done Overnight
The key to this is you did your time and old friends are going to give you the world, right now. Its not like in the movies that they are going to set you up with a job or give you a bag of money. This is only in the freaking movies. Your going to have to go through it all alone and your loved ones is going to there for you so don’t think it will happen In the next 24 hours. Your used to waiting…just let time heal everything.
The most important thing to get with making this mistake is holding that resentment of favors that you thought should be owed to you is going to be your downfall. Remember things change, people change, the world changed and you still have to get adjusted to things you have not foreseen.
People like you and me can’t neglect steering clear of this mistake because if friends are true friends they will give you a chance to become part of their life like before, but it all takes time and being involved.
To put this into action you should start new with new friends and grow with different people. Family outings, new co-workers and build new relationships with new surroundings. Its good for the pysche, but beware because they don’t see things like you do, and they have no clue why you do the things you do or why you are leary of things.
THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND AND NEVER WILL SO YOU CAN’T FORCE IT.
It will amaze you how much faster you can get things done as a ex-convict just by understanding these 3 TIPs and how to avoid them. Coming from within.
Hey, by the way, if you’re an ex-convict and you’re serious about change, your success and you really want to move on with your life after incarceration, then I would like to invite you to check out the program I have built to be among other convicts like you that help the community and yourself at the same time.
Who am I? I am just another brother trying to help others move on with their life, and be able to help as many youth as possible not go into the system.
Gordon Wat is an Youth Advocate for Real Talk Youth Impact Program