Chapter 3 Cultivating Your Own Life

“You pray for rain, you gotta deal with the mud too. That’s a part of it. I’d be more frightened by not using whatever abilities I’d been given. I’d be more frightened by procrastination and laziness.” – Denzel Washington

Did you know making or cultivating your own life is going to be up to YOU? Now we already went over the blame game, external factors and accountability. No matter what stage you are in life, 9 years old, broke, struggling, your at midlife, just got out prison…what ever. You can create the life your truly want and deserve if you start to apply those things I spoke of earlier.

I know exactly what your thinking because I have been in your shoes a couple of times. It doesn’t matter how much times you attempt or try it will only take you to realize it one time, and things will change. So keep applying and learning. I PROMISE you one day, it will come to you like a “Mack Truck” hitting you in your brain and heart.

One of my mentors always says “It wasn’t Easy, but it will always be worth it”. Now I don’t want to bore you with a bunch of quotes from other people to persuade you since this book is coming from my heart. But to go from your current reality or situation to a reality you can be proud of, will take you to take some action on your VISION.

Most people don’t truly understand that having a vision for what they want to be… has so much power. Sure there are bad times, you might be in a rut trudging on in life, but what about your goals and aspirations you had as a kid? or daydreams of being somewhere else when your at work? How about the dreams you had when you were 20 years old.

Now is the time to change that vision or goal, so you can smell it, taste it, and eventually live it. Many of us don’t realize that the current life you live in right now has been a life based on certain decisions,  for a short term goal.

What if we both made decisions for a larger long time goal, with the effort to cultivate our lives for tomorrow. What if you could envision that life and breathe it! No matter how big or small that dream life is, we both can make it happen together.

In this chapter I am going to show you how I did it, with some examples of course. Then I am going to show you exactly how you can do it too, and change your life.

But before we get into the rah, rah of it all to cultivate your dream life you must have a vision! if you don’t have vision you really don’t have anything. I’am going to start with a few celebrities that have hit adversities in life but came out of it living life on their terms.

Have you ever heard of Robert Downey Jr.? Yeah everyone knows him as Iron Man from the Marvels movies now days, but this man has been down a path not many come out of it including me. My relatives always told me if he can do it you can do is also. Many people don’t know that his story stared out from being an up and coming actor when he was young, to an addicted convict back in his early years. Yes, he was  Inmate P50522. A cog in the penal system. After a succession of arrests (getting wasted, getting busted, ditching rehab), he’d been sent to the California Substance Abuse Treatment Facility and State Prison, in Corcoran, California. High minimum-security.

I admire this man for the same reason, because he had a vision and came back with vengeance in his acting career thus becoming Iron man and one of the top paid actors of this day and age. Did he let himself quit from having the turmoil of going to prison, fighting his addiction and changing his life around? Hell no, he used it to become what he is today! and the character he plays shows his life story to becoming the eccentric billionaire is is today as Iron Man. Do you think his persona is in his character? I truly believe in my heart that with his vision to bounce back, and show it in his skills is commendable as it gets.

Here are one more of the many people that had vision! Dr. Dre, with the movie Straight Out of Compton, which portrayed a bunch of kids that had a vision for their communities, living on the streets of compton was just a normal day for all of them. This movie showed the public the real short story of what they went through living there at the time. Tagged one of the most dangerous counties in America at one time, I give Dr. Dre and Ice Cube there props to break off on their own individually to start their own labels and to become a power house in todays Generations for black men in america. You seen the MOVIE, its all about having that vision and keep grinding. The best part is, they all lived it, and came out years later becoming moguls and a hollywood powerhouse. Do you think for once they swayed from their vision? Hell no, and you shouldn’t also.

Lets take Lebron James as another example for having a Vision for the city of Cleveland. Now this man promised his hometown to bring something called a championship to his home! Now I am not a huge basketball fan, but I am a fan of having vision and not letting naysayers, haters and everyone else stand in ones way of a dream. To have come trailing a series to the best team in basketball at the time to win a championship for Akron has respect written all the way. Did this man have a dream or vision? I say he did! Did he have to overcome many obstacles to bring his team to a point where they can play their best basketball for 3 in a row? The emotional, physical aspect of it all is something now many can fathom, but it can be done! YOU CAN DO IT ALSO, the struggle and process might be draining but winners never quit on their vision…They PUSH even harder, harder then the the next. Push and Drive harder is what I say, and everything will fall in place.

I could go on with many examples of this. The Williams Sisters, Jennifer Lopez, Oprah, Lady Gaga, Colin Kaepernick, Ray Lewis, The Rock, Kevin Hart, one of my favorites Tyler Perry,  the list can go on and on. All of these people have in common is greatness, with a vision to get on the top of what they wanted. Try and look up any of the above mentioned and read their stories. It wasn’t all unicorn and rainbows in their lives, and if you have gotten this far, I know yours ain’t also, but it can happen! Ant its easier than you think.

Before we get into Steps into cultivating your dream life I want to leave you with is. Don’t take it literally but you might have to get creative and take some chances when you wan to change.

When your trying so hard to make your vision a reality doors will close, and people will give you all kinds of excuses! Find a way back into that door by either finding another way in or doing what I do and make your door somewhere else. Cut a screen or make a window, kick and crawl in, get your foot smashed by the door closing. Do what ever it takes to make your vision a reality.

Steps to Cultivating Your Dream Life

  1. Throw all disbelief out the window right now. Many people believe they cannot do it,( for the life of me I don’t understand this thinking)
    this book is about you and how to change. Here is the bottom line, where ever you are in life right now or whatever experiences good or bad you have gone through. Use it to create the life you want! If its big, go big or go home (legally) if your just skimming through this book and say I want to start, when is the time…it is now. You can cultivate the life you want by making small compounded steps to equal the life you truly want and deserve. Just Believe. I hope that the stories you have read inspired you to take some action. I could give you many more including my life, but its time to make it happen. I knew I was going to be wealthy at an early age, I just didn’t know how I was going to do it. Guess what I have figured it out.Now the how is not important, remember this is not a get quick scheme. Simon Sinek and his book “start with why”, to me hits the nail on the head and drives it through the heart of becoming at the top of your game. One of my favorites reads of all time so far, and being in prison for 12 years, I have read many books. (that’s another story)Lets take a look at a cause or why first. Everything from Apple Computers, Facebook, Google, Airplanes, Cars, even now days Video Games seemed impossible at one point in time. People from all over experts in their fields say none of the things I mentioned was ever going to make it big. Do you think the people that said it coundn’t be done, use any of their products? Heck yeah! now its time for you to make a product or service, better yet… you become the product.The only person who has to believe in anything is YOU! and then people will also see your vision and become part of it, its that simple. Will you go through frustrations? of course, but remember the Drive you have to have in order to get there? Have you thought about making your own opportunity.Here is a real life example just happened to me the other day. I had a co-worker tell me Gordon your just lucky, (you know the type). Maybe you fall in this category of persona also. After a brief conversation about me writing this book. I told him, no I make my own luck by being prepared, and out working everyone else in this room. Am I one in a million like he told me….No I am just a normal person like you my reader that has figured out what it takes to cultivate my life into what I want!
  2. Narrow things down and be specific! Now I know there is a lot of information going on in your head right now, but I want you to get specific. Narrow things down to the basic of idea of a 5 year old. You know when they keep asking you “why”. Do the same for yourself, if the why with being specifi does not get to your core emotion or turns your stomach, you will fade on that dream. But if your “Why” is so compelling and strong it will make you move mountains…Literally. Here is an example: if you do it for your kids that is a strong why, compared to doing it for whatever’s, if it keeps you up at night and makes you wake up early in the morning to get it done. YOU WILL DO IT. People do it everyday, get two jobs to make ends meet, work harder at the losing the weight they want, or how about going to school again to further their career. Most people don’t understand they have tapped into the power of their WHY, what will be yours?” I truly believe people are capable at anytime in their lives no matter what situation they are in, to turn on that switch and do what they dream of. Some may take a little longer to figure it out, some have to go through things ( a lot of things ) to get there, but when you live your dream because of where you came from, it is more the sweeter”
    Have you figured out what you really want and why? Why do you want it, and narrow it down to a couple and go for it.
  3. Having the Right Attitudes in anything you do can make a difference if you succeed or not! After a long vacation in the Federal System I learned to be grateful for the small things that life has to offer. Having simple things taken away that most take for granted like your freedom can be a real eye opener. How did I change my attitudes towards life? I changed my belief system like I mentioned earlier. I cared more for others and myself, I was open minded to other things life had to offer. I was willing to change myself instead of forcing my ideas and beliefs to others. I learned to be objective to others and their situations, and the big one for me was being humble. Live by these core values and things will change how people treat you, open doors for you and make you a better person as a whole. It works great…and your behavior will drastically change also. Something people can feel, and see through your actions. This you cannot fake, so get to taking some action on yourself first.Now part of my vision or dreams have changed over the past years, I can admit that. But being a business consultant, personal coach or highly sought out speaker while running multi million dollar business has been my dream for a long time. I got very specific on what I wanted to become and took the steps to becoming the entrepreneur I always knew I could and will be.Why do I do this? its because we can create more better people in the world that can be productive (since I was unproductive before) to be the next Steve Jobs, Oprah or whom ever you thought about. This is going to be my legacy for my remaining years to eliminate problems like poverty, crime, not having parents, education, more schools. The domino effect I can have on others just might people to cure some of the problems we currently have. This is the legacy and foundation I am leaving my nieces and daughters that only let me back in their lives because I have changed!Now its your turn to figure out what you want, and why do you want to do it! Then turn the switch on in your head or soul which ever works for you and get to work.
  4.  Now time for Action: This is where many people fall short. Your amped up roaring to go and you let fear take over you because of those old beliefs you had before! I will deal with that later, but the only thing that stands in your way right now is taking some sort of action. Do you think the people I mentioned before in this book didn’t do anything? They all took some action! and you should too, small or big its a step in the right direction.It is amazing to me how much information is out there in today’s society. Remember being away for 12yrs is a long time to be away from the inception of everything you have now. I have basically sat back and analyzed the access and resources everyone has now days on their phones. Google, you-tube, Facebook, even Podcast the list can go on and on where to find out just about anything. And most of it is all free! You can do things on your own time, in the comfort of your own home, or where ever you feel like doing it.There are so many resources out there, I wish I could plug my head into a computer like the movie the Matrix and learn even more. So there are basically no excuses to get what you desire.Now if you have been taking notes, or if need be read this chapter again. Write things down, what resources you will need, what videos you will watch to get what you want in life. Remember your cultivating your life on your terms. Don’t worry about the how, just concentrate on the why and see what transformations will happen.Now if you really want to go on the fast track, spend the money or model the mentor who is doing exactly what you want and is willing to guide you and mentor you. As of writing this book, I have to give my props to Marquel Russel, who let me model his book, one day I will meet him in person and thank him personally for inspiring me from way across the country. It happens, I am living it.