Chapter 2: Take Responsibility of Your-self
” Be Obedient to the Vision”
What do I mean by “take responsibility of yourself”?
Well one of the biggest problems I see with not just YOU, the reader of this book, (tell you the truth I am guilty of it also so don’t feel bad). It took me a long time to figure this out! We are responsible for our own success! Most people have this notion that other people are responsible for making our path to the top. Here is a reality check for you. Nobody is entitled to anything! and you nor me are entitled to be successful by not taking any action and relying on someone else. Get over it, I had to be responsible for my own actions and it all started with me.
I mentioned this in the first chapter and I want to refresh your brain…we are 100% responsible for where I am at in my life right now. My mom ain’t going to do the work for me, my coach aint’ going to make me better, or my teacher ain’t going to read it for me. Tell yourself I am 100% responsible for my own actions. Until a person gets that in their soul and being, it is going to be hard. Now I ask you, are you ready?
Before moving on or reading on , I want you to ask yourself, “are you ready to take full responsibility in where you are in life right now!” say it three times in your head. Trust me it will help. Stop blaming others for your current situation, and take responsibility of yourself.
Speaking from experience, and if you read my little intro and background. I blamed my parents or lack of foundation on everyone else except for myself. I blamed my teachers, coaches, parents, other people, lack of money, you name it I shifted the blame on someone or something else. I blamed or pointed the finger at the rat, my lack of size, or whatever. No matter what the situation its easier to blame someone else. Old people do it, young people do it, crap even your parents do it. They blame the president or the government, the blame the pot hole in the road if they could for breaking their car.
The reason so many people blame others, or things is because it is easy to do so. People are easy to blame but never looking in the mirror to see what they can do with the situation they have before them. Understand this, the way you hand anything can shift everything. One good or bad decision because of not taking or your actions can change a persons life forever.
Now I want you to have a deep heart felt talk with yourself right now…and tell yourself again. I’am going to take full responsibility for where I am in my life right now! Stop telling yourself all the excuses, stop telling yourself I don’t have time for this S!@#! and tell yourself I will take full responsibility for everything that has happened thus far.
I am going to give you the formula that I read in my friends book, that he learned from one his mentors. I couldn’t pass it up because this was exactly how I see the world now. You can interpret how you like, spin it how you like, but nothing will change it.
Simply, the formula is E+R=O
which is Event+ Response = Outcome
Now you can use this formula for anything, and here is my interpretation of it, which is similar, but I wanted to share it with you and give credit where it is due.
Same formula, S + R = R
which is Situation + Reaction = (good or bad) RESULT
Now the belief is that every situation or outcome you have experienced in life has led you to the person you are today! It doesn’t matter how old you are, the experiences you have gone through, how much money or lack of, disability or at the top of your game. If you were to look at everything you have done. The result were always going to be up to you. How you handled the situation, or responded to that event /situation led you to where you are right now. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE!
I am a firm believer of this formula and it works. If you were to go back in time and be able to change your outcome by just reacting differently would it make a difference? how about your response to it? could you have changed your result to a better one? OF COURSE but it depends on how and why at the time you handled it.
Lets make this as clear as possible again, if you don’t like the results/outcomes your getting there are a couple of choices you can make. Number 1, is you can blame others or things for the outcomes and deflect your own accountability to the issue, situation or event and make more excuses.
Here are some examples you might hear or even tell yourself…My mom and dad wasn’t here for me, my dad went to prison, or the economy is not supporting people like me, there isn’t enough jobs out there, the kids at school are picking on me, my school don’t understand me, I don’t have enough time to start. Yes those were just on top of my head, so you kinda get the picture. Your probably thinking wow, this guy really knows my struggle and pain!
I am here to tell you I was in the same boat as you…no pun intended but until I took full responsibility for my thinking and actions nothing changed.
I now tell myself how can I fix it, or what is the solution to the problem instead of blaming others and deflecting.
If your an athlete you blamed the officials, your a baseball player you blamed the bat. Like I mentioned above its easy to blame. If your in a relationship its easy to blame the other person. Think about it right now…If Lebron blamed his other team mates do you think he could have came back from a loosing all the other games to overcome a 1-3 deficit in the 2016 NBA finals. We could go on and on about Steve Jobs, Oprah, Denzel Washington, Gary Vaynerchuk, Bill Gates, President Obama, Damon and all the other cast in Shark Tank, Dr. Dre, Williams Sisters, Kobe, Robert Downey the list can go on. So much people and you can be the same. If you were to read their stories, these people all took action and took personal responsibility. When you stop and think about where you are in life right now, others including myself have overcome worst situations. I myself have come out of situations I care to relive and came out of it.
So you might be thinking to yourself “Okay” you made your point…Gordon! or you might be thinking you don’t know how bad off I am (YOU the reader). I am not telling you S!@#, the choice is yours. I am just letting you know right now that many people have overcome obstacles, adversities or roadblocks and have overcame those things by themselves. The just figured out how to succeed, and it 99% percent of the time starts with the formula or formula’s I mentioned, plain and simple.
If you don’t like the outcomes or results you are getting go back to the above formula and change the way your doing it now. You might be shocked when you start experiencing small different results. If you don’t like the outcomes change your thinking again or learn you have a lifetime to make it happen the only difference is the ones that figure it out sooner wins everything.
If you can change your beliefs, or thinking things will change dramatically. The way you talk, communicate, walk down the road or even carry yourself will change. Eventually all those old beliefs will get buried and the image of yourself will change and people will see it in your behavior. The only thing that will matter is how you perceive yourself. People will gravitate to you when people see a change in your behavior, and I stamp my 100% guarantee on it.
Letting external forces control your inner world! that is one thing that many of us as individuals have to change. What do I mean by that…is letting others, things or evens control what you have going on inside of you. When you let these outside things happen, you start to blame those factors. Yes, at the beginning of it all I told you, its the blame game. I am guilty of it also, and just wanted to show you that once you start to take into accountability of your actions and behaviors, like I said at the top. Things will change.
All of us have habits, conditions, attitudes, experiences and reflexes. We go on about our day to day business without ever wondering to think what are we really doing. Ask yourself why have I become this automatic robot and let life pass you by. I do this everyday and try to regain a conscious effort to change my attitude and behavior on a daily basis. Think about your self talk, dreams, the images you put on your phone. All of this are seeds into your subconscious that are either at the surface, or pushed deep down. Either way those all effect your behavior.
Here is a little secret that might make you transform a little easier! Everything you do from now on has to be calculated or intentional. What do I mean by that? Well, this drives people around me crazy, but everything I do is for a purpose. Everything I do is to reach my goals, dreams and aspirations. It doesn’t matter if its as small as getting up earlier in the morning to write a few words down on a computer. (Yeah this is what I do). Everything has to be aligned with the bigger picture for tomorrow. Take control of small things like your thoughts and compound that into making your dreams, values, life and goals a much easier way to cope. We will go a little deeper into it, but TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW!
One thing that a person must understand is: If you don’t like the outcomes, change how you deal with the situations or events. Don’t blame, don’t point the fingers at anyone or thing. But tell yourself I will respond to this differently. The hardest thing to do is change yourself, but at the end it will be all worth it.
At the time I decided to model my friends book, people said I was crazy for wasting all that time. Well by reading this so far what do you think I did? LOL, your reading it right now. They said there are no money in writing books because of the electronic gadgets and gizmos…guess what I don’t care about money like I used too, or how this one. The U.K. is pulling out of Europe, the market is crashing because of uncertainty. Well guess what? I really don’t care because that is a perfect example of outside forces trying to control me. Do you get the picture now? But guess what, dealing with this type of adversities is just what many of us go through on a daily basis, building these experiences and you will make some bad choices, but it can mold you into a different person if you start to do it.
Lets make this very clear. Everything you experience or maybe not have have experienced is the result of the choices you made yesterday. The experiences or choices you made in the past has made you the person you are today, and you have the choice to make a better you for tomorrow by analyzing if you could have changed your mindset back then. The experiences no matter if it’s external or internal is always the result or results of how YOU, have responded. Yes, or NO?
Now lets go back to the formula I gave you earlier in this book or post! S+R=R or what ever interpretation you have in your head, I know everyone is different.
Lets say for this example you had just been given a inheritance of 1 million dollars ( in my best Dr. Evil voice)…ok this is serious. Now the “S” is for situation of course. Now your reaction or “R” is holy crap I can quit my job, and go party till and just do what ever. Now, because your experiences and the choice you make right there is where you can be what I called “BROKE” because the lack of experience and not thinking about the future or tomorrow is trying to get out that is within you. Many people say if I had a million dollars in their dream what would I do. Now back to the example, a million dollars does not go far these day, especially if you want to live a rappers life, you do drugs, you get caught buying a fancy car, you try to let external people latch on, and you feel good about yourself because you are the man! Your clubbing and buying bottle service like you see in the videos and your dream is a reality at that moment! Then one day, you wake up coming down from your short lived phase, and now your literally broke. NO MONEY!!!!
Now you start to blame your new found friends for the cars, the drugs, or what ever never looking at the choices or behaviors you made as a person inside. Having let your seeded dreams come out in full force, not thinking about tomorrow or the future. You start to tell yourself that it was because of him/her I bought that car, or because this or that. Not looking at yourself for the OUTCOME or the result.
Does this sound familiar? ok a million dollars is a lot of money, you hear of many movie star’s, athletes, or even people you look up too doing it. Some of them even bounced back from their old situation, and changed their result…because they learned from it, this book is to help you not make the same mistake. To make you process your choices faster and look forward to tomorrow.
Now here is another event with using the same example above but you have a different thinking process: The same “S” for Situation; You were given the same 1 Million dollars (again in my best Dr. Evil voice…I couldn’t help it) but now your “R” or Reaction is to put the money to good use. You hire a financial advisor that is looking out in your best interest he invest in wisely and its making money on your money! Don’t you think that is a better “R” or Result? Now the bonus is that you are not just with your original money, but now you get to do things money affords you instead of being the man or whatever. You get to start your own business, help the less fortunate or whatever a pure heart desires.
Now its far fetched you might win the lotto, but don’t get me wrong it can happen. But you can do this with hardworking money with a 1,000.00 or what ever you have saved up to do the choices are always going to be up to you. At a young age is better, but some of us have to go through it to be able to share the knowledge. Now the example up top has resulted in either you losing all your money or increasing your networth. Same situation, different results you decide.
Lets take a look at some other results that might relate to you, or someone that you know. Some people blame where they grew up, the hood, or the block or what ever they stand for at the time of their life. The one thing they do is blame. Use the formula for weight loss, quitting doing drugs, or smoking cigarettes. I have done it and so can you. Here are more examples that just might hit a core. I need to fit in with the gang because they will protect me from my wrong doing and I just want to feel like I belong. Are you blaming or convincing yourself that you need to become a part of the criminal outside force instead of feeling good about yourself? How about, I am getting sick all the time, and my joints hurt? People don’t look further down the road or their past, because of their poor diet and don’t want to change. The list can go on and on. How about this one, for you athletes…He is older, faster, stronger and better looking. How is that making yourself better, do you see the blame game? Think of changing your thinking to become faster, and how you can do it, and that same person will acknowledge you for the time and effort. Change your mindset, and change the result. It will start with you again!
Take control or responsibility for your actions and behaviors right now! Own it or however you want to control it to convince your conscious to change! Stop blaming others or outside forces. Find someone close to you that has read this book so you can be a team and hold each other accountable for just blaming and now feed the fire with more blame. While writing this book my two nieces came to stay with me from Hawaii, and since this book was partially dedicated to them because of their struggle. I told them when ever they catch each other blaming something or an outside force for something, they would owe something…lets just say a dollar. At the end of the week, the one with the less complaints or blaming would keep both jars of money, once they seen they had to give up something they would change. This would then start all over for the next week, and since they are really close and competitive like siblings do, I know they would hold each other accountable for their actions.
Here is must from the chapter! you have to take responsibility for everything and change how you want the outcome you desire. Change your response or reaction to the event or situation internally, meaning yourself and you will find out you have complete control of everything. Taking 100% responsibility of your actions, attitudes, life, and emotions will make controlling everything in your life smooth sailing.
Until you decide to do this, you will continue to blame, be broke, argue and even fall into a deeper trap if you don’t figure this out. ( I know from experience) If you decide to take small steps towards changing yourself, you can live the life you deserve without even getting all things messsed up, but it will be solely up to you.
Before moving on, or even reading the next paragraph, I want you to tell yourself you are in control of everything! The mannerism you have, the attitudes you have, even the feelings you have are all up to you to change. You have to become aware of the things you want to change and get 100% percent crystal clear on where you want to be in the next couple years or months. If you have gotten this far, there is hope and I believe you can do it no matter what you want. I PROMISE YOU, if you take just some of the insights from this you can change in leaps and bounds you wouldn’t be able to imagine. How do I know this? because I am a product of it, the reason for doing it and sharing to the world that if I can you can too.
Before we move on, ask yourself right now are you ready to change? are you ready to take FULL RESPONSIBILITY for the current stage in your life right now? Shout out in your room or where ever right now, I am READY to CHANGE Gordon!!! I want to change, I am ready to change, and I will work on myself, no matter what.
I’ll see you in the next page so turn it…