Whether you’re attempting to obtain thousands of hearts on Instagram, getting love or likes buttons on from FB, or trying to connect with someone on one of those dating sites, often it can feel like our happiness depends on other people in today’s society. However there are ways to stop looking for authorization or approval of others. The trick is to begin with resolving your very own thought process. Rather than looking for authorization from exterior influences, search for real happiness by establishing a much more stable connection within on your own self.
It’s tiring attempting to be everything to everybody. Trying to be this to someone else, and then right back on the other side by another person to another just for the sake of being liked. Emotionally and mentally it’s unsustainable and downright tiresome. Ultimately the subconscious will breakdown like a sinkhole of crap, pressured by the weight of trying to be something for other people but not for yourself. Feeling confident without getting everyone else’s approval is a very tricky thing, becomes it means actually loving who you are, maybe what you are becoming and knowing your self-worth.
1. Be Aware Of Your Actions and Behaviors.
The first step to stop seeking approval is to know where it comes from. Is it approval from your parents when you were a kid to make them praise you? An “A” on a test from your teacher? or is it a pat on the back from a coach. One must become aware that we are sometimes stuck in doubt, insecurity, and uncertainty. Time to recognize those actions of looking for approval and they usually stem from those emotions or feelings that arise within ourselves. Once you become aware of that, or how often you do it, then you can and only then can you start to work on yourself. Take the time to think about it. In the course of a day and notice how many times you might be actually doing this without even knowing.
2. Develop Your Own Self-Worth
At times and you know this, you can be your own worst enemy. You have doubts about yourself, and the need to get in where you fit in, which is a bunch of crap…Time to squash what is in your head and to recognize your own self-worth.
Self-worth is knowing that you are loved, valuable, and simply worthy even with your imperfections, and not what you think, say, do, or more hugely what others think of you. Seeking approval from others when our self-worth is on low status, we tend to do it to feel accepted or being a part of something like a click. Time to become your own click and throw away those old habits.
3. Accept Yourself For Who You Are
Don’t worry about what other people are thinking, focus on what makes you happy, and for some, it might be really challenging. Accept your flaws, your stupid sense of humor that no one laughs at your jokes, it’s part of your make up and don’t let no one tell you otherwise. When you can master of that part of the process and new found confidence will emerge, and you will accept who we are, you don’t need approval or input from anyone, because you know yourself.
4. Know Your Beliefs
There is absolutely nothing wrong with teaming up or building friendships around your beliefs, just don’t be persuaded because you might not be strong in yours yet. People will try to pick holes in your beliefs or what you believe in and give you all types of “mumbo jumbo” but stay true to yours. Its always going to be a test and if your not stable with your others perspectives will be exactly what you are trying to avoid. Don’t give in, this is one of the hardest parts because of your so used to doing it. Tell yourself your good enough to have your own beliefs.
5. Practice Self Love
Are you harder on yourself than others? Giving them a pass but not yourself? Remember to be just and kind and forgiving to yourself as you are to your friends. This includes doing things for yourself and not for others, practice emotional self-care, and accepting that others can love you for who you are, having compassion for yourself as well as others. Having empathy as you do for others also applies to yourself. Building your own self worth start and will always start with you,
6. Still Wondering Why Your Seeking Approval
Have you caught yourself yet, or even thought about it? Understanding why your seeking approval from others is a huge part of this process. When you can catch this within yourself and catch your own behavior you will be way on your way to becoming in your own. Sometimes things get a little awkward because now you are telling yourself, “what do I think about this” or “why don’t I trust my own judgment” this list can go on and on. You want approval because you are uncertain, or feel that way. Stop doing that to yourself just because you want someone to accept you. Understand the motive behind why you’re seeking approval.
Be looking out for part II or scroll anywhere to find out if there is a way to help you out.